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I convinced myself you were spending your precious energy on those wonderful children, who matter more than me. I can only hope that is true, that your last days were spent surrounded by your children and family. I still think you were strong enough to beat the cancer. Losing the baby and the final expiration of your marriage were heavy enough hits. Topped with the ugly cherry of such an aggressive cancer, you were up against too much. Losing much needed love and support in the face of such a daunting trial would do anyone in. Part of me feels a deep overwhelming pain, loss. There is an ache inside that only time will cure. It’s been fueled over the last forty hours by the knowledge that we will never speak again. That all of our dreams are now doomed to remain unfulfilled. I’ve cried knowing that I will never kiss you or touch your skin. I can never hold you in my arms or play with your hair. You can’t take me dancing or teach me guitar. I’ll never be able to kiss you at the top. “There’s just something about her, don’t you think? Something different. Something special. She could be the half-holy little she-bastard that has the whole of the twelve questing for your head! And she’d never even know!” * Silmaria stayed away as long as she could stand. Rael had expressly forbidden her from coming near while he talked with Ricard, ordered her to wait on the other end of the copse of trees, out of sight. She’d done as she was told, obeying her Master because she trusted him, and because obeying was what she did. She tried to busy herself at first. She tended the horses, both of whom were beautiful creatures of strength and endurance and intelligence. Silmaria was no equestrian; she didn’t know much about horses aside from how to ride passably well, and the general ins and outs of their care. But even she recognized the beasts as unique and exceptional creatures. She hoped they would be able to keep them on their journey forward; she wanted to get to know the horses.
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